Sunday, March 2, 2008

Pardon my Dutch

Mij en Jou en Allemaal Zij Kunnen
Me and You and Everything They Know

My dear Audience,

how are you? Did you miss me? I missed and I miss you so much.
You're right. I know. It's my fault at this time. I was supposed to write you every single day from here. I had promised that with the whole of my heart. Hence, you can blame me for this long and unexpected lack of words from the Lowlands. I would like to tell you that I forgot to write you, because I was working on the long awaited Dutch edition of McSweeney's together with my friends Dave and Zadie, but actually that's not true. And I'm not a liar as far as you believe me.

My beloved Audie, you should ask me why I waited so many days before sending you these few lines. If it's true that we are in an open relationship (at least that's how you call it), you shouldn't be jealous. I haven't betrayed you. Actually I never did it. How could I do that? Yet, this silence has finally ended. It won't happen anymore. It won't happen again.
Well, I go right to the point now.

Audie, my sweetheart, I'm studying Dutch. Ja, natuurlijk. Hey, I'm not joking. Could you take me seriously? Please. Astublieft. You can't imagine how Their language is at the same time amazing and astonishing. Take my first lesson: personal pronouns.

- She and They are both Zij. This makes me stoned. For Them is natural. Why?
- According to what written above They are = Zij zijn. Chinederlandse.
- That same Zijn means His/Its as well. Dit zijn tingen zijn (These are his things). Abracadabra.
- The informal form for You (plural) is Jullie, while the formal one is U. Isn't that perfectly logic?
- For each pronoun there are two forms. How could I pronounce 'k or 't (= unstressed I and It)??

Oh my Audie, is there a better way to express my love to you than this one?
Don't tell me flowers because spring has going to come. Don't tell me chocolate, because Belgium is not that far. May I dedicate you a song? It's in Dutch, try to guess what it means.

Acda en De Munnik - Bij haar zijn

1 comment:

Merel said...

To make matters worse: These are his things = Dit zijn zijn dingen.
The first zijn means are.
The seccond zijn means his.
Of course.